looking back

i see how they told me that i needed things 

to become this someone i needed to be

​

burn the midnight oil they would say

and i would try and try again

because i needed to fit in  

because of what they told me

 

i am a bird

ready to fly

 

they told me that i needed to be perfect

have fun, have friends

whenever i passed in the halls

 i needed a pack, a tribe to survive

that i wasn’t enough the way i was

 

but not being able

all the others left the cage

door opened 

but i stayed

 

they fed me fear

spoonful by spoonful

the danger that one day 

i wasn’t going to be pretty enough

 smart enough

 popular enough

 

and i believed them

 

too scared to fly

these things clipped my wings

and weighed me down

 

i believed the pressure

the grades

the people

that told me each of these fiction tales

 

until i realized 

that i didn’t need these things anymore

to show me who i was

 

and one by one the scales fell off

the blindfold came loose

and i felt...

 

free 

 

i just needed to let go 

and soar

 

and soaring was i

the rushing wind in my ears

the rush of adrenaline 

 

i am free

​

​

​

​

Claire Y Hong (2020)